Love and Killing

Love and Killing is a story in which Lolifegg and Waltumba fell and love and went on a killing spree with together across the galaxy.

"Find Me Her"
Lolifegg's minions are sitting around reviewing notes and videos of skilled killers (including Klaika, Scannon and Vomiu) when they get to a pretty, blue female on their large video screen.

Lolifegg then walks by eating a corn dog-like food and stops when he sees Waltumba on the screen

"I know her" he says, tilting his head sideways "Remind me of her name"

"Waltumba" one of his henchmen interjects

"Yes! Waltumba! I knew that" Lolifegg replies before finishing his corn dog and pacing around

"She is pretty, very pretty. Too pretty to not be mine. Find me her" Lolifegg continues

"Boss, we can't just find-" the henchman replies before Lolifegg interrupts

"You will find her. Access police files, access Uvuloid files, we can do anything. Just last week, we destroyed a city and Uvuloid heaquarters. Our team is unstoppable. I hired you nerds because you could fight and you are fricking great with technology, so you will find me Waltumba today!"

Chasing Waltumba
Frightened of what their boss will do to them if they don't find Waltumba, they work incredibly hard to find where she may be. Deciding to start by accessing Uvuloid files, they get extremely lucky where they find her home city. Talking amongst themselves, they grab weaponry and take several spacecrafts to the planet and city that Waltumba calls home. Also choosing to surprise Lolifegg, they fly down to the planet (which takes about 5 hours) and then exit and walk around trying to look as cool as they can.

"Hey you!" one of Lolifegg's minions shouts to a man selling newspapers on the street

"How can I help you?" the vendor responds

"Have you seen this woman?" the same minion demands while showing a photo of Waltumba

"Yeah. She's here all of the time. She orders too, which is rare" the vendor answers

"Do you have her address?" another minion orders

"Yes I do. Let me check" the vendor says as he opens a notebook and then copies what he sees onto a small piece of paper and hands it to them

Nodding as a way to say thank you, they walk away towards a parking lot. Seeing a running flying car, they get in and drive to the address, which to their surprise, it a relatively short drive.

When they get there, they exit the car and conceal their weapons, strolling towards the front door. Knocking, Waltumba answers and then sprints away towards the back door. Running away from the four men after her, she is unable to successfully lose them as she struggles with trying to climb over a fence and is grabbed by the minions.

"Hey sexy. How about a little-" one of the minions chuckles before she bites him in the hand

One of the other minions kicks her three times in the head, knocking her unconscious.

Love At First Sight
Waltumba wakes up the next morning to Lolifegg staring at her.

"You? Aren't you a brutal warlord?" Waltumba asks

"No, I'm the guy who's really attracted to you" Lolifegg says back with a colossal smile on his face

"Why did your idiotic goons kidnap me?" Waltumba snarls

"So I can finally meet you. I'm in love with you and you are such a badass. Can you be mine?"

"Well, I'm not going to lie. You're kinda hot too"

After hearing her complement, he fist pumps and hugs her as tight as he can. Waltumba smiles and pats him on the back.

"Lolifegg" Lolifegg chimes

"You already know my name" Waltumba laughs before they pause for a minute and start to kiss.

Later That Night

After the two took a nap together, they awaken to dinner in bed as prepared by one of Lolifegg's henchmen. In shock, Waltumba starts eating like a horse and drinks way too much as well.

"So, what's your favorite thing?" Waltumba asks her new boyfriend

"Killing people" Lolifegg exclaims

"I like killing, but it's not my favorite" Waltumba replies solemnly before Lolifegg frowns and stays silent for a few moments

"Honey, please. I got you to like me. I got you to basically be my girlfriend. Please, let's go on a rampage together" Lolifegg begs

"Well....okay baby. It'd be a good way for us to bond" Waltumba answers, which causes Lolifegg to do victory laps in the bedroom.

"You are so silly Lolly!" Waltumba giggles

The Rampage: Part 1
Once they wake up the next day after a night of kissing, drinking and eating horribly unhealthy foods, Lolifegg walks his new girlfriend down to his favorite room of his house- the armory. Showing her all of his weapons (including the ickyschnick), Waltumba is genuinely impressed at the vast array of unique and varied weaponry.

"I was thinking Walt, I brought you down here to take your pick. You can use anything except that one right there (pointing to the ickyschnick). Can we please go kill people now?" he says as he makes a puppy dog face

"Okay. If it'll make you happy" she answers as she grabs three different weapons and they walk off to a flying car.

Flying off to the nearest city, they exit and Lolifegg wastes no time.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" he screams to the heavens as he mows down innocent people with his explosive shotgun.

"Lolly, calm down!" Waltumba pleads

"No! This is so much fun! Join me!" Lolifegg replies in ecstasy

Waltumba sighs and starts shooting at the first people she sees run away in fear. Walking past rows of corpses, they indiscriminantly kill whoever they see. Stopping to kiss quickly, they constantly giggle as they shoot men, women and children.

Lolifegg then sees two police cars and smiles.

"Hey! A challenge!" he laughs before Waltumba takes out an explode-on-impact grenade and throws it at the car, killing every one of the cops

"Why?" Lolifegg asks sarcastically as they grin at each other before strutting down the street murdering more and more people.

The Rampage: Part 2
About an hour has past and about 150 people have had their lives stolen from them. More and more people are stabbed, shot and blown up by the star-crossed lovers.

"Love and killing Walt" Lolifegg proclaims to his crush

"Love and killing, Lolly. Love and killing" she responds while throwing a blade at a policeman

As they start to run down the streets, Lolifegg looks down an alley and sees a familiar face- Vomiu.

"It's Vomiu. He's dangerous" Lolifegg tells Waltumba

"Then avoid him. He'll hurt you" Waltumba replies

"I want to kill him!" he snaps

"No! He's too harmful. If you really love me, you will avoid him!" she pleads with Lolifegg

"Honey, I love you more than any person. But I love killing more than any thing" he answers as he shoves his girlfriend down to the ground and kicks her while she's down.

"Jerkface!" she screams back to him as she runs away, ending their relationship.

Lolifegg starts to tear up and is even more heartbroken to see that Vomiu has disappeared, making his harming Waltumba for nothing. Screaming to the sky, he runs down the alley to find Vomiu. Slipping in a puddle, Vomiu hears him and walks towards him. Vomiu then proceeds to nearly beat the life out of Lolifegg in about a minute of rapid punches and kicks before he feigns unconsciousness and Vomiu walks away. Lolifegg then summons his minions to bring him back home as he starts to cry about how atrocious his day was.

Learning To Cope (Epilogue)
Sitting in bed in extreme pain, Lolifegg cries all day over the loss of the new love of his life. Coping by punching himself, hugging one of his henchmen as tight as he can and rambling on and on at a mandatory assembly he called, words cannot express how heartbroken he was over his mistake. Realizing he will never get Waltumba to love him ever again, he stares at a picture of the two of them before tears drip all over it, blurring her face.

Trivia

 * As mentioned in the "Find Me Her" section, this story takes place a week after the end of "The Extirpation"